Metairie, LA 2-22

Greetings friends and lovers.

Mardi Gras has come and gone, the beads are in the trees, and I am smoking way too much these days.  I feel like the Crescent City is a new lover.  I can’t seem to tie the words together to describe this place, which is in itself a beautiful thing.  I am feeling the pressure of the modern world, urging me to monetize my actions and “pay my own way”.  But on the other shoulder, or rather inside myself, I have the unshakable assurance that the Universe/God/Goddess/Life is taking care of me, and will continue to provide me with all I need.  This is not dependent on me making money, just on embracing the flow of the energy all around me and creating the world I wish to live in.  The world of my heart.

I am in limbo, then, between the monastic life and the civilian.  It’s not a bad place to be, certainly…. and I think I will find my balancing point very soon.  I’m considering trading my little hatchback for a van, one I could put a bed in.  That would be something, alright.  A lot easier to camp out this way if I had an affordable, safe place to sleep every night.  Well, safe-ish.

I am learning that I am an emotional being.  This is generally maligned by society, but that is irrelevant.  I am this way because, this is who I am.  In this body, in this life, for whatever reason.  I am learning how to relax and let things slide out of my grasp, while at the same time I’m also learning to selectively hold tight to what I want to use and build with.

I feel out of touch with the pace of technology, yet I’m not TOTALLY out of pace… I can use email and word processing, stream music while I’m at the gym.  I guess where this is going is just, balance.  Balance is the name of the game.


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