I hesitate and take a deep breath before letting my fingers begin to dance along the keys. I feel my vocabulary is not adequate to express how I’m feeling… but I can try. I am terrified, hopeful, achey, and actually growing more relaxed and less RAAAAAAAAA!!!!! by the second… I’m seated by a gurgling water feature in the hotel bar of the Magnolia on 17th Street. I’m here with a friend, an older gentleman, and… I’m nervous about him meeting my friends. I have been involved with this man for over a year but I’m not at all sure I will continue to be. So it seems dubiously wise to introduce him to my folks out here in CO.
I started seeing a new therapist, through an online app called TalkTime. It is already amazing, they matched me with someone I really resonate with and it is affordable (sort of). More than private traditional counseling. So I am very excited and looking forward to that.
I was looking forward to shopping and maybe being a bit silly tonight, but the vibe has changed. I am not sure how to say it… My usual go-to mindset is becoming something new and different, and I keep making the choice to expand, to make room and adapt rather than shrink away from what I fear..